Category Archives: inspirational thoughts

Wholeness In The New Year

How Do You Look At New Year’s Resolutions?

At the beginning of the year, it is commonplace to think about change, and to set new intentions. At this time, many people set New Year’s Resolutions. Normally this may consist of setting goals you want to achieve, your “To Do List.” Often as you move through the year, these New Year’s Resolutions seem to lose their sustaining power. You either feel a great deal of resistance in pursuing them or your goals get lost to the distractions and busyness of life. Did you ever think that the block to achieving these resolutions comes from the mindset that created them in the first place. The mindset tells you that you don’t have what you really want, that you are somehow flawed where you are right now. This mindset comes from a sense of lack or not enough. It takes a great deal of striving, effort, willpower and the overcoming of resistance to get anywhere. It simply doesn’t feel good to do it.

Why do people continue to set themselves up again and again for these disappointments and defeats. Statistics show that only 8% of Americans actually succeed in achieving New Years resolutions.

What If There Was Another Way To Look At The New Year?

What if you came from a place of abundance and wholeness. What if you knew that there was nothing lacking inside of you when you set your intentions for the New Year. Then the motivation to change would look different. It would come from “I have everything I need inside me.” “What do I do now?” Instead of feeling that you need to get something outside yourself to feel good, you already feel good. Then life would look more like a playground of possibility. You would be called by questions such as, What do I want to enjoy? What do I want to experience? What am I curious about? What are the skills I want to develop to enjoy the life I was given? What are the relationships that honor or compliment me? What is the work situation that speaks to my abilities, my potential? What am I here to contribute?

From this place of wholeness, you see that control, willpower, major effort and striving are irrelevant. What is highlighted instead is a sense of surrender to a higher calling. It is a sense that if you trusted the knowing of your true self, your authentic self, you will be led exactly to the situations that will contribute to your greatest growth, joy, wisdom and potential. You will still take steps, and action. However those steps will be characterized by non attachment to outcome, a feeling of lightness and enjoyment. Your life will also be lived in the present moment as you would not be driven by a dissatisfaction that would judge or make you feel bad for not having what you want right now.

Ultimately, as you look at your New Year, there are two paths you can choose. One is the Path of Efforting. The other is the Path of Surrender. Which one will you choose?

The following passage from our book, Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth. This passage on Empowerment calls on you to see your life from a place of wholeness. The passage is paired with the original Pastel Painting of  Artist Elise Okrend. The title of the painting is Into The Light.

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There is only one essential assumption to make in life. That is You Are Worthy.
By understanding the truth of that, you understand that you do not need to prove
anything, control anything, force anything. All you have to do is share what you
already are with others and you will thrive. To believe otherwise is false to your
true nature and causes needless pain and suffering for you and others. When you
know you are worthy, you know that you do not lack anything and you are truly
abundant. You are here to grow, share, learn and love. All the other stuff is just
conditioning and learned behavior. All you need to do is let go of those falsities
and come back to the truth of your worth.

Phil Okrend, January 2015

Messages to the Heart Workshop

We are so pleased to invite you to our new Messages to the Heart workshop 

Our new live workshop, A Journey To Healing and Empowerment Through Art and Words is coming to the beautiful Om Sanctuary, Asheville, NC on Friday December 5th, 6:30pm-9:30pm

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Artist Elise Okrend and her husband, Life Coach Phil Okrend, authors of the new coffee table book, Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth will lead you on a transformative journey of self–discovery. By using beautiful soothing art and mindful, contemplative passages from their book, you will learn to see your life through new eyes that will inspire, heal and empower you to connect to your inner guidance.

Register Now! Space is limited to 12 participants

You will be guided toward finding clarity on such issues as:

• Letting Go
• Finding Purpose
• Trust
• Self Worth
• Making Choices
• Taking Steps
• Finding Strength
• Living from Abundance

You will leave the workshop with tools and a framework to make positive change in your life.

Register Now! Space is limited to 12 participants

We look forward to being with you.

Elise and Phil

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Vulnerability Is Strength

Reflections on Empowerment

This latest blog post was inspired by a passage from Messages to the Heart, Reflections on Empowerment, Self Worth. The art and passage appear below the article.

Being vulnerable is difficult for many people

Being vulnerable is difficult for many people. It can conjure up intense feelings such as fear of being judged, loss of control and weakness. When we want to project a certain image to the world, we may try to avoid vulnerability. It is as though being vulnerable will leave us feeling alone and abandoned because we will not be accepted for who we really are.

At the moment that we feel vulnerable, it presents us with a choice. The choice is one between acting from the ego or false self, or acting from your true or authentic self. While the ego may crave control, predictability and looking good in the eyes of others, the authentic self, wants to give and receive love, connection and compassion.

I think we have reached a critical point in our culture where many people are literally burnt out and exhausted from the demands of the ego. The ego is never relaxed or satisfied, and always wants control. It is getting harder to hold on to a sense of control when so many personal and world situations seem beyond our control.

Being vulnerable allows us to let go of the struggle for control

Being vulnerable allows us to let go of the struggle for control. It allows us the freedom to enter into relationships where truth and authenticity are valued, where flaws are not shamed, but merely seen as human. Vulnerability leads us to a shared connection with others because it allows us to have shared empathy with others. Vulnerability is then the place where true community building can occur. Vulnerability is in essence, the opposite of what we have been set up to believe. Vulnerability is not weakness, it is not shameful. Vulnerability is strength. It is real. It is connecting.

If we can understand that vulnerability is positive and life affirming, then perhaps we can learn to overcome our resistance to it. However, it means getting out of our own way and questioning habitual reactions.

Questions for you to consider

Here are some questions for you to consider that can help you examine your own perspectives on vulnerability.

What is it costing me to avoid uncomfortable issues? Where do I hold myself back? Where have I been unwilling to risk? In what ways will facing my vulnerability give me strength? In what ways will facing my vulnerability bring me connection to others? In what ways will facing my vulnerability bring me peace of mind?

This is the passage from our book, Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth, Self Worth with Elise’s pastel painting, Jane’s Meadow. It calls you forth to see your vulnerability as strength.

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None of us are perfect, and yet all of us are deserving of love and understanding. We don’t let ourselves be who really are because we think others won’t like it. But the truth is that others won’t like it when they can’t tell who you are and that what you say really reflects who you are. That just leads to cynicism, distrust and fakeness over time. We need to give others permission to be exactly who they are so we can be who we are. No one is perfect, and yet we are all perfect in our imperfections. That is the human experience. We are here to love, learn, grow, be ourselves and know that our being here is our ticket to self worth. As we accept that and believe that, we build true authentic bonds of connection with others. All the striving to be something we are not in order to get self worth is a losing game that eventually catches up with people. You can only be an act for so long. It is your vulnerability which will make you strong and make you soar. Be yourself and be proud!

 

From the Head to the Heart


From the Head to the Heart

A few weekends ago, I had the privilege to attend a workshop at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, New York. Omega is a wonderful retreat and educational center offering courses on personal and societal change from some of the leading authors, speakers and educators in the country. The title of the workshop I signed up for was “Reduced To Joy, The Journey from the Head to the Heart.” That title resonated for me because as an ex attorney, I was trained to live in my head. Even though I made some big changes in my life, transitioning from the life of an attorney to an entrepreneur, and now a writer and life coach, it was still hard to shake off some of the old patterns that seemed to come from my head. I was still grappling with issues such as trying to control outcomes, or situations, taking things personally, or striving to achieve goals that had little authentic meaning for me.

I felt that taking this workshop would serve to help me “Let Go” and really move into my heart, the place I really wanted to live.

From the beginning, the workshop, and the way it was presented started to work its magic on me. I noticed that the instructor had no written outline, there was no power point presentation. There was no agenda at all except to create an environment of presence where the sharing of experience would be honored. The instructor read from his books. He shared stories and poems about life that were about real things that happen to all of us. The heartache of loss, how an illness can shape us, how unexpected events can change one’s direction, and how through all of it, there can be a depth of joy regardless of the obstacles we encounter. Almost everyone in the room shared, and it was sharing from the heart. It was powerful.

I left the weekend workshop at Omega feeling moved and knew that I was entering a new period of transformation. I knew that for me to make the shift, I would still need to let go, but I also realized that I had already begun. By moving to Asheville after being in the same town for 19 years, and by writing and publishing a new book about healing and personal empowerment, I had entered a new phase of a journey. I embrace that journey, and am starting to trust in the more unknown but true path ahead of me.

Phil Okrend

I believe that the path for all of us to make true change in our lives starts with “letting go” of what no longer serves us. This is a passage from our book, “Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth.” It calls on you to “Let Go.”

If you don’t know what you want, then let go of what you don’t want.
Perhaps when you empty yourself of outdated notions, limiting beliefs,
what you thought you had to do from your conditioned mind,
then the fruits of a new way will have the room to penetrate. It is
much like clearing the dirt and debris to plant a new garden. We fight
with ourselves when we try to force ourselves to be a certain way,
live up to life standards that weren’t set by us in the first place. Feel
what makes you come alive and do that, but first, empty out what is
no longer true for you. When you let go, don’t feel that you need to
rush into a new way. Allow yourself to take the time to be. Trust, be patient.
The new way will come.

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Tropical Belize by Elise Okrend, www.eliseokrend.com

 

Finding Your Yellow Brick Road

What is the truth about you?

One of my favorite movies of all time is “The Wizard of Oz.”

Find Your Yellow Brick Road

This timeless tale of Dorothy, her little dog Toto and her three friends, the Scarecrow, the Tin Man and the Cowardly Lion has touched generations of children and adults alike. I invite you to stroll down the Yellow Brick Road to share some insights that may be helpful in your own life journey. As we are introduced to the main characters on their journey to meet the Wizard, we learn about their beliefs.

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Dorothy believes only the Wizard can help her get back home, the Scarecrow believes he doesn’t have a brain, the Tin Man believes he has no heart, and the Lion believes he has no courage. They all look to The Wizard of Oz to obtain what they believe they don’t have or possess.

But is their perception of who they are, flawed?

But is their perception of who they are, flawed? If the Lion has no courage, how does he summon the will to help his friends when they are in trouble? If the Tin Man has no heart, how can he care so much for others? If the Scarecrow has no brains, how does he conceive of the plan to rescue Dorothy? Each of them shows that they already possess the qualities they seek. So if they had believed in the truth of who they were, they would never have needed to get validation from an outside source, the Wizard.

There’s no place like home

How may this apply in your own life? You may ask the following questions: Do some of the beliefs you have adopted in your life, about what you are capable of, represent what is really true about you? Do your beliefs about yourself serve to keep you empowered and on purpose, or do they keep you from authenticity and fulfillment? Do you need external approval in order to believe that you are talented, loved, strong or grounded? The more you ask yourself, “What is the truth?” the more you can consciously choose to release the limiting beliefs that no longer serve you. You won’t have to look much further than your own backyard to do so. As Dorothy said, “There’s no place like home”.

The following passage is from our book Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth. It calls on you to find your special place of truth within.

Reflections on Love Trust, Meditation Pond, Pastel Art by Elise Okrend.

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If you want love, look within.

If you want peace, look within.

If you want satisfaction, look within.

If you want to be in harmony with others, look within.

If you want to be free of distraction, look within.

If you want to honor your truth, look within
.

There is no reason to look anywhere else.
 All that you need is within. You were just looking in the wrong place.

Phil

Phil Okrend, Certified Life and Business Coach, transitioned from being an attorney, to the life of a creative entrepreneur, writer, speaker and musician. Phil is the author of the new coffee table book “Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth,” which pairs his mindful poetic writings with the art of his wife, Asheville based pastel artist Elise Okrend.  www.messagestotheheart.com  and www.steppingstonescoaching.com

 

Art Gives Hope Through Tragedy

This story, Art Gives Hope Through Tragedy is about one of my original paintings, and how that painting touched one family in a time of need.  The  painting, “Mountain Mist” below is one of the paintings featured in our book, Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth.

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The story begins with the following email I received about a month ago:

Four years ago, April or May of 2011, we bought a painting from someone in the Kress Emporium and I do believe it was you. You were just setting up your booth that weekend and one of you, you or your husband, was injured (a sprained ankle or some such), which made the set up complicated. You were not really ready for business yet but we were heading back to Charlotte and knew we would never be back to Asheville. Does that sound familiar?

That afternoon, we bought a beautiful painting of the Blue Ridge Mountains from that particular artist, hopefully you … ( approx 16″x24″) Seeing your work on the Gallery’s website, your style seems very similar. Yes???
With that in mind, there is a sad tale to tell:

We bought the painting as a gift for our daughter (a Univ. of Virginia graduate and employee) so she could keep that breathtaking and beloved view with her when she moved up to Boston. It has hung over her bed these 4 years and she loves it every time she looks up!

Last week, there was a terrible and tragic fire in Boston (You might have seen it on the National News) that was her apartment building on Beacon Street. Fortunately she was at work, but EVERYTHING was lost, including the painting and the information about the artist that was taped on the back of the frame. Although we know that it is not possible to duplicate all of her belongings, this painting was one very special piece that we hope to replace with something similar.

Please let me know if you have any memory of that time or conversation (or injury!) and perhaps we can discuss one happy ending to this nightmare.

Art Gives Hope Through Tragedy

I was so honored that I was able to connect with this woman and was able to replace the piece, “Mountain Mist.” I will be shipping it to her daughter this week. Feeling grateful that I was able to help in their time of need, and that my art is touching people in ways that I might not even know.  For you readers out there who have a yearning to create, and bring your creation to the world, don’t hold back.  Bring your work to life. You never know how it will touch and inspire another.

Elise Okrend
Pastel Artist
www.eliseokrend.com
elise@eliseokrend.com

 

 

Spring Renewal and Celebration

Spring has arrived

After a long winter where it seemed that life was lived indoors, it has become clear that spring has arrived with warmth, flowers blooming and growth all around. It was the perfect time for people to come out for the first Messages to the Heart Book Launch held at the beautiful Hotel Indigo in downtown Asheville.  What a great event.  We discussed how our passions led to the creation of the book, did a short reading,  and heard from others how the book has started to create a positive impact in people’s lives.  One guest told us that she was amazed when another member of her weekly discussion group came in and read the following to share with the group: She recognized it immediately as coming from Messages to the Heart. This is the passage:

There is a flow to life

It is hard to draw water from a stone but when you are near an ocean, it is easy. Know the difference between the people who are stones and oceans in your life. The stones will feel strained, you will work hard to get very little. When you are near oceans, there will be flow, ease, you won’t have to work so hard, things happen on their own. There is a flow to life if you get out of your own way. As long as you know what you want, don’t spend too much time near the stones. Go to the oceans. Even if the stones seem appealing, you will know if it always feels like an uphill battle. Drop your preconceived notions of who the right people should be in your life. Go towards what feels good, and spend time there. Trust.

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More events and readings

To celebrate, to empower and inspire you

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Trust, flow, letting go, choices based on awareness.  These are some of the Messages to the Heart that we are passionate about sharing with you.  We look forward to more events and readings, to celebrate, to empower and inspire you.  The next event is a pre mother’s day afternoon tea and book signing at Chiifferobe Home and Garden in the beautiful mountain town of Black Mountain on Friday, April 25th, 4-6 p.m. and the Grand Opening of Elise’s Art Studio in the Whitespace Gallery at the Wedge Building, Level 2 in Asheville’s vibrant River Arts District, Thursday, May 8th, 5-8p.m.

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Warmly, Elise and Phil

 

 

 

 

 

 

Finding Your Path

Do you feel that you have a destiny to fulfill, a path to follow? Read our latest blog to explore this question.

Your life path.  It was present the day you were born, and it is there waiting for you. This path gives our lives purpose and meaning, and it is our job to find the path, connect with it and follow it.  It is what the  American writer, Joseph Campbell called the hero’s journey as it moves you from the known into the unknown.  Along the way, there may be temptations, circumstances, distractions that try to throw you off, but you may also find a mentor, a book, a synchronicity that will keep you moving along the path.  The following passage from our book, Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth outlines three things to help you realize your life path. The passage is paired with Elise’s Painting, “The Path.” Let us know how this passage and art speaks to you.

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These three things will help you on your journey: Heal the Past, Live the Present, Dream the Future!

Heal the past- See what the old stories and patterns are costing you in your life. You will know who and what you need to forgive, and you will see that dealing with pain and discomfort now is better than having the past own you for “What you resist persists.”

Live the present- Your life only exists in this moment, and the more you can place your attention on what is in front of you, the more you will be alive, energized and resourceful.

Dream the future- Imagine an inspiring future where you are at your best, happy, fulfilled, contributing, engaged in life. From that vision, you will know what steps will either lead you there or will take you away from it.  Practice these three things and you will find the life path that has been waiting for you

Elise and Phil Okrend

To learn more about the Coffee Table Book, Messages to the Heart, Reflections of Beauty and Truth, visit www.messagestotheheart.com

Beauty Inspires

This past weekend we took a short trip to Black Mountain and Montreat, NC., about 30 minutes from where we live in Asheville. In Montreat, we were entranced by a meandering stream trail that we followed. We learned that this region is only second to tropical rain forests for its biodiversity! Along the trail, we encountered hand made rock formations that reminded us of Stonehenge! It seems that the sacredness of this place has been confirmed by others that have walked this trail. Here is a pic of this beautiful place.

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The beauty of this place reminded us of one of the passages from Messages to the Heart.  

The world is full of beautiful landscapes and vistas, natural places that evoke feelings of reverence and awe. This natural beauty, what nature intended is also inside of you. When you understand that you are part of this nature, then you know that you have been blessed with gifts to express to bring out, to touch others with. All fear, shame, guilt, doubt is just conditioning built from fear that tries to undermine you from seeing this truth. When you see it, know it is false to you, and it will disappear as you no longer give it power.

After this beautiful walk, we went to the quaint town of Black Mountain, NC where we discovered a wonderful eclectic gift shop called Chifferobe Home & Garden.  This wonderful shop is now a new home for Messages to the Heart. Next time you find yourself in Western North Carolina, check out the town of Black Mountain and this beautiful shop.

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May you find beauty in the simple things around you.

Elise and Phil

A Winter Reflection

I was speaking with a friend today who had gone through some trying times recently.  He had been in a car accident and was dealing with the breakup of a relationship. He said that he felt overwhelmed and wasn’t sure how he was going to handle it all.  As we spoke a bit, he talked about some previous challenges, and he realized that he had gotten through it all. The challenges had actually brought him to a better place.  He just he didn’t know it at the time. Our conversation made me think of the below passage from our book, Messages To The Heart.

If you could see your life as a perpetual place of learning and growth, then you can see that all your perceived setbacks, misfortunes, accidents, betrayals are merely signs to help you pay attention to what you haven’t been paying attention to. When you take the time to reflect, you will be able to learn and grow. When you react to a perceived negative occurrence, you just continue that pattern. Open your eyes to a new way of seeing life because as you change your mind, you change your life.

In the book, the above passage is paired with Elise’s painting, Winter Morning.  It is during the winter that one can reflect within the stillness and quiet of it all. It can be a time to absorb some of those greater lessons that can move us forward.  Life is always pushing us forward to our greatest growth. Do you agree?

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